Have A Good Day.

What kind of day you're going to have, I believe, is determined by the first fifteen minutes you're awake. Did you wake up with a pulse? Okay, you've got the most important part beat. Now comes the hard part, putting your feet on the floor. I suggest taking this step slowly as it can be the most dangerous part of the day. With the sleep still in your eyes, you never know what can happen. And it usually does. You put your feet to the floor and step in a land mine your wife's poodle left for you. Now your left with a choice to make. If you don't go into the kitchen and turn on the coffee maker, you're not going to have coffee when you get out of the shower. On the other hand, you need to get in the shower because Poopsy the poodle lived up to her name sometime during the night. Okay, take a deep breath and tell yourself you can walk on your toes to the kitchen, start the coffee and make it to the bathroom for your shower. Have you ever stubbed your big toe while attempting to walk on your toes? You have now. Unfortunately, the throbbing toe is on the "clean" foot. So you're hopping around on the carpeted dining room floor leaving little Poopsy poop footprints all the way to the coffee maker. A quick click of the on button and you limp your way back towards the bathroom. A quick glance in the mirror shows the aggravation of the morning so far and you've only been awake some five minutes. After a refreshing shower you start feeling better and you grab the old toothbrush for a good teeth swabbing. Pay close attention to what you're doing. Nope, that's not going to happen. You're brushing your teeth with Preparation H. There are two sides to this dilemma. On one side, well, you're brushing your teeth with something that's not supposed to go in the talking end. On the plus side, your teeth don't itch anymore. Okay, you've played around enough for one morning. You need to get dressed, drink some coffee and get started off to work. Here's the perfect part of any one's morning. That first taste of coffee, a hot cup of joe, some caffeine to stimulate the brain cells for a pleasant day at the office. That's when you hear your wifes voice coming from the bedroom. "Well, good morning my little Poopsy Woopsy Oopsy. How's my little puppy wuppy uppy? Jump up here and give Mommy a little kissy wissy issy on this beautiful Saturday morning. You resist the urge to slash your wrists with a butter knife for two reasons. You hate that doggy talk and you don't work on Saturdays.
And you accomplished all of that in fifteen minutes. Now, have a good day.