Friends and the lack thereof.

I picked up my nephew from work tonight from his first job as a bagger at the local grocery store. On the way out of the parking lot, he told me that he'd be done at 9:00 tomorrow night. To which I responded that he was messing up my social life. He shot back that I have no social life and after giving a little thought, I agreed with him. I don't seem to have as many friends as I used to.
Anyway, I sat and pondered for awhile and realized I missed one of the best friends I ever had. His name was John Boy and was one of the dumbest cats you'd ever see. His claim to fame was the fact he had an overbite and when he laid in your lap purring, he'd drool all over you. Which can be somewhat embarrassing when guests arrive for dinner and your holding the cat. So you brush him off and answer the door with the crotch of your pants soaked in drool.
He was a pretty cool cat though, full of personality that almost overruled his stupidity. I got home from work one day and had barely enough time to eat, load my karaoke equipment, take a shower and get to my second job. Approaching my car, I see John Boy sitting on the roof with a puddle of drool under his chin. I yelled for him to get off the car as I climbed inside. Starting the car did nothing to get him off the roof. So, I put the car in reverse figuring that would scare him off. Nope, he's still there. So I hit the breaks. Well that scared him, a little. He put his paws off the roof onto the windshield but was determined I was finding a different mode of transportation to the karaoke show. So, I turned on the windshield wipers which promptly hit his feet which scared him senseless enough to jump from the roof to the middle of the hood and puke. I did find a way to get him off the car though. Cats don't like water and I had to wash my hood.
Then there was the morning, actually about 2AM, I was headed out the door to work and heard him meowing in one of the trees in the front yard. It wasn't until I got home that afternoon to find him way up in a hickory tree. Food wouldn't coax him down so my wife called the fire department. They don't do that kind of rescue anymore as the same thing happened right across the street. Firefighters show up with a ladder truck, as well as a local news crew with a camera, and heroically rescue the stranded feline to the cheers of everyone watching from below. They put the cat on the ground and it ran across the street and up another tree. So we called a tree surgeon to see what they would charge to bring a truck and get him down. $125. I didn't want the tree cut down! A friend called and said he'd help. His plan was to bring over a shotgun and shoot the branch he was sitting on, thus making the cat fall out of the tree. Now there's a brainstorm. Of course this the same guy that reads the obituaries in the local paper so he can find a job. My brother in law finally came over, after my rocket surgeon cat had been in the tree for five days, and scaled straight up twenty five feet, grabbed John Boy and dropped him in a sheet we held out for him. After a quick bite to eat, safe and sound back in the house, he came to me, laid in my lap and drooled all over me.
Sadly, John Boy was hit by a car and I lost one of my best friends. And now that I think about it, I know what happened to the rest of my friends. I owe them money.