I find it humorous how some things in life remind me of others. Let's take for instance the chili I had for supper and reflecting on my divorce. I guess I came to this comparison as the chili has given me hearburn which is a pain in my chest. My marriage, on the other hand, lasted a good bit longer than this heartburn is going to and it was a pain as well but a little lower in the human anatomy. I can get away with saying something like this as I know my ex-wife will not be reading this. She thinks a blog is a dismal swamp with noisy frogs.
I would like some answers to a couple of burning questions though concerning marriage.
First of all, why do couples need a license to get married? And even better, why wasn't my license suspended or revoked somewhere between my saying "I do" and "Shut up stupid"? Maybe I should have payed more attention when we went to get this marriage license and applied for a learners permit instead. And how come you can buy a fishing license at Wal-Mart but you have to go to the courthouse to get the marriage license? Hang on, I figured that one out on my own. It's because, technically, that's where all marriages begin and end.
I'm also confused on this divorce thing. Why is it my ex-wife got to be the plaintiff and I had to be the defendent? She got everything, what did I have to defend? Hang on, I figured that one out too. I still had a shred of dignity but I lost that the first time the well pump at what used to be my house lost it's prime and I was the only one that knew how to fix it and laughed hysterically as I was hanging up on her.
I do have one thing figured out and that is marriage is the leading cause of divorce in this country. Seems it would be a better idea to have to hire a lawyer to get married and a priest to bless the divorce. Would have worked out better for me operating that way. It took us a long time to save up the money to get a divorce. Had we had to wait that long to get married, we'd have killed each other way before the blessed event.
Ain't love grand?
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